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| Happy Stinker's Day!!!! |
| 01.31.04 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
Each day I take my puppy, Rex, out for a walk through the neighborhood. (OK, to be honest, this time of year it’s usually each night) Walking with him serves multiple purposes – exercise for both of us, relaxation, make Rex happy, etc –
One of my favorite part of it is the occasional glimpses into other people’s lives. I love to people watch wherever I am, and wandering the neighborhood is the perfect opportunity. (While I do glance through open windows or doors, I’m not talking about the sneak-up-through-the-bush es kind of people watching – I like my voyeurism to be consensual.)
While walking today, I passed a house with an assortment of party balloons tied to the mailbox and attached to the front porch. Above the door was a banner, “Happy Stinker’s Day!” That made me laugh, but also made me wonder what Stinker’s Day is and how does one celebrate it?
One answer is that it’s a baby celebration held by someone with a great sense of humor that’s going to raise a very weird child. That’s a little bit of a boring answer except for the weird child part – I love an eccentric kid.
Perhaps it’s a birthday party for an adult who just couldn’t shake a childhood nickname – or couldn’t shake a lover’s pet name. That’s not quite as boring but a guy named Stinker isn’t really someone I’d be in a hurry to meet.
Maybe it has nothing to do with a specific person at all ... Maybe January 31st is a holiday for aroma therapists…
Maybe it’s just the name of an excuse to have a party – like my college making a huge party out of Groundhog’s day. I like this excuse the best. I’m a big fan of parties that are just for the sake of having a party. When you theme them too, that’s even more fun. We used to do that sort of thing all the time – ‘I Can’t Believe It’s a Margarita Party’, ‘The Stereotype Costume Ball’ or ‘Welcome Back, Jesus’, etcetra ad nauseum …
So, Happy Stinker’s Day!! Now go out to a pub or invite over friends for a beer or twelve and enjoy the First Annual Stinker Holiday Weekend.
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| And the award for the stupidest pandering goes to .... |
| 01.30.04 (7:45 am) [edit] |
Ok, I saw this on CNN.com this morning and I just had to laugh.
[b][url=http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCA...]Georgia Considers Banning Evolution[/url] [/b]
They are proposing that teachers be allowed to teach about evolution but not allowed to use the term. The approved new terminology is, "biological changes over time". It's an obvious ploy to try and please religious conservatives without actually doing anything about it ....
.... and people living in the South wonder why we get treated like back-country hicks by everyone else....
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| Remembering Sharon Snyder |
| 01.29.04 (3:21 pm) [edit] |
The newest addition to the family was born this past Monday, Jan 26 in Southern California. Stephen Alexander Snyder is the first child of my brother Derick and sister-in-law Jenn. I didn’t realize until my Grandma pointed it out last night that they named him using my mother’s initials. My parents used the same naming method for their children and I was happy to see the tradition live on – especially since he was born almost 10 years after his grandmother passed away.
I have been thinking about it for awhile, and today I sent out the first email inviting my family to help me create a book to commemorate my mother’s life. I was pretty sketchy with details on purpose – I don’t want to get to set into a format that doesn’t interest anyone else. I asked for Photos, memories, stories, whatever they like in whatever format they like. Now I’ll see how it comes together.
I’m hoping this goes well. After contacting the immediate family I’m planning on getting in touch with some of the extended family – aunts, cousins, whatever to see who else wants to play my game. With a little luck, I can also get directed to some of her old friends as well. The majority of her grandchildren are too young to have many memories of her and I’d like to pass on a little of their history to her.
My secondary thought after this was to include the same type of stories about my father – even if he hasn’t passed on yet. Maybe I could do the same thing for all four grandparents. But, first things first.
Here is the first contribution as told by her and remembered by me:
When Mom was a little girl soon after the War, the Marion Star had a Turkey coloring contest for the local children as a Thanksgiving promotion. She and her classmates each colored one and had them turned into the paper. Sharon didn’t want to do a typical brown or black turkey, so she colored hers as dramatically as she wanted – the tail was a complete riot of colors. Her teacher disapproved and told her that turkeys aren’t all those colors, but she did it the way she wanted anyway. When the winners were announced, her turkey was selected for the grand prize.
She won a new Television which meant that her family was the first on their block to own a TV. She said that she loved having the neighbors come over in the evening to watch shows with her family…..
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| Mourning the Dead |
| 01.28.04 (1:12 pm) [edit] |
As of yesterday, 518 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq. (The number is increased to 610 when all coalition deaths are counted.)
These are all individuals with families left behind to mourn them. Tragic as that number is, it’s made worse by the Administration’s efforts to have it remain just a number. Not a single photo has been allowed of caskets returning to the US. Not a single funeral has been attended by the President or a ranking member of his Administration. By keeping these dead people as just a number, the horror of what’s been lost is greatly reduced – after all, 518 is smaller than many graduating classes at larger high schools and universities and nothing to get too upset about.
518 dead men and women look like [url=http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2...]this[/url] . CNN is keeping an updated list of the dead with photographs where they are available. Seeing them as humans and not just numbers is a much harder thing.
What can we do ensure they are properly mourned?
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| Geoffrey Day |
| 01.27.04 (11:35 pm) [edit] |
By the way, the 38th annual Geoffrey Day celebration is coming up. As always, it's on the first of March. This year it's on a Monday, so that means an extended Geoffrey Day holiday weekend.
Be sure to mark your Calendars.
If you like, feel free to also take off the Friday before Geoffrey Day as well - that way you have a day's head start on the festivities.
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| Walking with Rexter |
| 01.27.04 (11:32 pm) [edit] |
Rex is my puppy. Actually, he’s a 3yo 90lb chocolate lab and most everyone I know has shared their opinion that he’s too big to count as a puppy, but he’s still my baby. I got Rex last spring from a Labrador [url=http://www.labrescuenorthtexa...]rescue group[/url] . Since I have a 15yo cat, I thought it would be rude to bring a wild puppy into the house, so I decided to get an adult.
When I first met Rex, he was still with his original family – they decided that they just didn’t have time to take care of a dog. I loved him from the start. He’s constantly at my side and its so nice to have a companion pet again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kitty too but cats all prefer to be pets on their own terms.
I knew that getting a rescue dog meant that I could be getting a pet with emotional problems – even screwed up puppies need good homes. Some of Rex’s behavior makes me think that he was abused or at least tormented in his first home; he’s terrified of the hose, won’t go near lakes or kiddy pools, stresses out whenever we change things in the house, spends a large chunk of his time hiding/hanging out in his crate/bedroom and jumps or cowers with every loud noise.
The hardest part of his personality is that he’s terrified of Latino men wearing black shirs. Three or four friends have come over that he won’t even get near when they’re dressed like that. Unfortunately, Gilbert is both Hispanic and wears a lot of black. Rex is terrified of him. Gilbert’s never done anything to harm him but Rex won’t go near him.
I know it's hard on Gilbert because he’s never had a dog and wants to be Rex’s friend. The only time Rex will go near him is when I’m right there with them and then only for brief seconds. If I’m not there he won’t even come out of his crate. We never lock him in it – it’s just his personal space.
I wish I knew who he’s afraid of and what that guy did to him. Actually I’d like to know so I can kick his ass for treating an animal so poorly. It pisses me off that some people are so mean to animals – pisses me off just as much as it does when people are abusive to children.
I’m thinking of hiring a pet psychologist/behaviorist to visit Rex and give me an idea what I can do to help him become a more well-adjusted member of the family. The only thing stopping me is that ‘pet psychology’ just seems a little too California I-have-too-much-money-and -don’t-know-what-to-do-wi th-it-all. On the other hand, I spent 2 ½ years seeing a psychologist and it did me a world of good.
I wonder how one finds a good pet therapist. Is there some sort of accreditation process they have to go through? I'm going to have to ask around....
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| Tigger is my Co-Pilot |
| 01.26.04 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
I adore Tigger. Not so much as a character in Winnie-the-Pooh cartoons, but as an Icon. He represents a joie de vivre and exuberance that I love having and want more in my life.
I have a tattoo of a happy dancing Tigger on my right calf. I also used to have a collection of about 80 Tigger themed items decorating my workspace in the office. That collection I scaled down about 2 years ago to about 10 items. The rest I gave away to co-workers either for themselves or their children – I thought it would be fun to bring alittle Tigger into everyone’s life. I’m still happy to go to a co-worker’s desk and notice a Tigger tucked away amongst their other office crap. Brings a smile to my face. :D
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| The Da Vinci Code |
| 01.26.04 (1:08 pm) [edit] |
I just finished reading [i]The Da Vinci Code [/i]by Dan Brown. That was fun stuff. I usually don’t read books that spend such a long time on the New York Times bestseller list since I’ve been disappointed many times by block buster books. This one, however, was the exception. So many people told me they liked it that my curiosity got the better of me.
I’ve read other history/religious conspiracy murder mystery books, so the genre wasn’t new but I think this was one of the better ones. I like a book that keeps me guessing – this book did a good job of throwing me off track when I start to think I have it all figured out – and it kept changing up until the end.
There was enough art history and Church politics thrown in to make the premise plausible. The most plausible foundation of all is the portrayal of Jesus Christ as a man as opposed to the way most Christian religions portray him as a deity in the form of a man without human failings, desires or virtues.
I’ve already loaned the book to a friend so I’ll have someone to discuss the book with once he’s finished. All in all, I say it’s definitely worth a read.
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| Hmmmm ... violence and sodomy ... |
| 01.24.04 (11:33 pm) [edit] |
OK, so I took the Dante’s Inferno Test. (the link, BTW I found the link on lyinghere’s blog.) Here are the results:
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Initially, I was surprised to rate ‘very high' for Level 7, the violent, but then that’s where the sodomites go as well … Oops, guess it's been awhile since I've read my Dante.
Thinking it over a bit, mixing in alittle violence alittle violence with my sodomy doesn't have to be a bad idea. (or, for starters, how about just alittle 'take it, bitch'?!)
I am disappointed that I didn’t rank higher as a Level 6 Heretic, but then we can’t have everything … maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
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| Old Friends/Bookends |
| 01.24.04 (10:24 pm) [edit] |
Thinking about Marilee got me thinking again about old friends from my past. (maybe that’s the first response to her gift, but I haven’t decided about how to respond to her) So, I spent a couple hours this evening hunting the names of some long lost friends on the Internet. It took some work, but I found three people I’ve been thinking about a lot lately – I hope they respond to the emails I sent.
[b]Sharon Authier[/b] – Sharon was Gilbert and my best friend for the first few years we were together. We originally met as freshmen at the University of Dallas but weren’t really close friends until Gilbert met her while they started working together. We did everything together. Eventually, Sharon met a guy, Ruben, and they eventually moved to Chicago together. I think that was in ’91. We lost tough almost immediately. I found an email address on an alumni site from a high school in her home town - that's the best I could find but I hope it's still current as there can't be that many Sharon Authiers that graduated in Appleton, WI in 1984.
[b]Janet Retseck[/b] – Janet was easy to find. I also met her at UD and we were great friends from the start. After she graduated, she went to Indiana University to get her masters then to Claremont to work on her Ph.D. We only fell out of touch slowly. I found a course listing at Claremont that she’s teaching this semester along with her email address …
[b]John Stasko[/b] – John was a roommate of mine at UD. He’s younger than me, but was a year ahead. He’s one of those people that is just so intelligent that he often exists on another plane of reality – and I loved that. He left Texas for New Mexico in 1986. If I tracked down the right one (and how many John Stasko’s have a middle name Chrystostom?) then he’s currently a physics professor at University of Florida, Gainesville. He tracked me down about 10 years ago, but nothing ever happened then. So now it’s my turn.
[b]Jim Swan[/b] – I couldn’t find anyone online that I felt was the right one. I’ll have to keep looking. He was also a roommate of mine at UD. The last I knew of him was when he entered law school at the University of Chicago. I tracked his mother’s phone number down about 10 years ago and called her, but either she forgot to give him my number or whatever but he never got back on touch with me ….
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| How Bizarre |
| 01.23.04 (2:33 pm) [edit] |
Today has gone from being a typical day to a very bizarre one in a very short period of time. It started like every other one and was a very low stress day in the office. Starting around 10:30, two surprise meetings and an email took me from no stress to stress headache in no time flat. (I’m sure no one but me cares about the details so I won’t go into them). So, 12:30 and I was out having a cigarette and trying not to explode when I got a call.
A long-time colleague called to say she had something for me from a ‘ghost from my past’. We met up halfway between our buildings where she gave me plastic bag. Not saying who it’s from, she said I would know who as soon as I opened it. Then she left. Inside were two 50’s era ceramic Thai dancers. This could only be from one person – Marilee.
Marilee was my boss when I first started with Ericsson in ’95. She also became a very good friend outside work. The best one word description of her is eccentric. In her 20’s she was married to a record exec and knew people like Janis Joplin and Mama Cass. When I met her as she was turning 50, she was an artsy free-spirit type working in the middle of corporate America. One of the things that first drew me to her was her insistence that everyone express their personality no matter the situation. She is the person that first started me collecting – it was with her that I first started my collection of ceramic Asian figurines.
Over the 4 ½ years I worked for her, I learned more about the less glamorous side of her personality (as one does with a friend) but there was nothing there that really put me off or anything. After taking another job in the company, I began to see that some of the smaller quirks of her personality really were much larger than I originally thought. For example, I knew she had separation issues regarding her friends, but when I left her group she became very catty and sometimes downright rude when we were together. I also slowly realized that though she projects an image of the open-minded liberal type, she is actually fairly conservative, racist and homophobic.
As the Telecom market fell apart, Mare was first demoted then 15 months ago she was laid off. She and I hadn’t really spoken in the last 18 to 24 months. I don’t know why. It could be something I said or did, or it could be something she decided about me, but she stopped talking to me so I stopped talking to her.
So now, almost 2 years after we stopped being friends, I get a gift through a third party. I’m not sure what to think about it. Perhaps it’s a peace offering of sorts. The ball is definitely in my court. I just need to take a day or two to decide what, if anything, I will do.
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| Iraqi Civil War? |
| 01.22.04 (1:21 pm) [edit] |
I just read an [url=http://www.commondreams.org/h...]article[/url] concerning CIA warnings of the potential for a Civil War in Iraq sparked by the debate over elections vs. caucuses to create a ‘sovereign’ Iraqi government. This is pretty frightening. I’ve long held the belief that the situation in Iraq is far worse than Dubya’s Administration will admit, but this goes beyond my worst fears.
Now that we’ve learned that the original plan for the invasion and conquest was not the cakewalk it was presented to be, we (as a nation) need to look at this possible civil war realistically. Now my biggest fear is that the Administration neo-cons will downplay or ignore this report and just keep going forward with their current ideologically based plans. I understand that it’s more convenient for US business interests and Republican re-election plans if the Iraqis would just follow their script and do as their told, but that’s not going to happen.
The June deadline for this new government is based on the US election schedule and no on Iraqi needs just as this ‘caucus’ plan is based more on the belief that ‘we’ can control who is elected than on what the Iraqis want for themselves.
Our government it more out of control than ever. I think it’s time to take to the streets again – Dubya won’t listen anymore than he did to the protests this time last year, but I don’t see how we can wait until the November elections to try and stop the madness.
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| Who's Who |
| 01.22.04 (8:45 am) [edit] |
Below is one of my favorite poems written by my favorite poet, W. H. Auden. I read this poem for the first time I when I was 19 and fell in love with it immediately. It touches me somewhere deep and silent where the world stops moving for a moment or two.
[b]Who's Who[/b]
A shilling life will give you all the facts:
How Father beat him, how he ran away,
What were the struggles of his youth, what acts
Made him the greatest figure of his day;
Of how he fought, fished, hunted, worked all night,
Though giddy, climbed new mountains; named a sea;
Some of the last researchers even write
Love made him weep his pints like you and me.
With all his honours on, he sighed for one
Who, say astonished critics, lived at home;
Did little jobs about the house with skill
And nothing else; could whistle; would sit still
Or potter round the garden; answered some
Of his long marvellous letters but kept none.
W.H. Auden
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| In the Presence of Mine Enemies |
| 01.21.04 (2:18 pm) [edit] |
I finished reading Harry Turtledove’s book, In [i]the Presence of Mine Enemies[/i], last night. I have a personal love for alternate histories and Turtledove is the master. This is the story of a group of Jews living clandestinely in 2009 Berlin where the US did not enter WWII and Germany conquered Britain and Russia. A generation later, they attacked the US with atomic weapons and also conquered North America.
One of the things I love about Turtledove is the way his characters are usually just regular people instead of the movers and shakers and the way he portrays their lives in an atmosphere that really brings his alternate world to life. Some of the atmospheric details in this book are made more awful by the casual way they are mentioned. For example, he mentions sending someone to the showers as a slangy way of handling an unwanted or annoying person. Some of the atmospheric details are much larger such as the military style discipline in the schoolrooms.
The story itself is well done and I was pleasantly surprised that most of the directions I expected it to go as I read were not the directions it went. It’s very refreshing to read a book that’s not predictable. Unfortunately, once the climax of the book started, it did become predictable because the events too closely paralleled the attempted coup in the Soviet Union before it collapsed. That said, by the time I got to that point, I was so wrapped up in the book that I enjoyed it anyway.
It’s not his best book, but all in all, I’d say it’s worth a read.
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| The Adventurers |
| 01.21.04 (10:03 am) [edit] |
As I mentioned previously, this year marks the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death. This is a poem I wrote about a year ago about the most important thing she taught me …
[b]The Adventurers[/b]
Sitting by my bed,
With the lights turned low
A mother’s touch to soothe a fever.
She told me the stories of her life –
Living in Rome -
Marching with Dr. King -
The young man she loved then left.
All her adventures - Mine to keep.
“Dream.” She said, “Go to Mars.
Save the world.
Live.”
Sitting by her bed,
When nothing else can cure a cancer,
A son’s touch is all that’s left.
I told her the stories of my life –
Live Aid -
Germany by train -
The young man I loved then lost.
All my adventures – A gift from you.
“Just Live.”
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| Where I stand with the Dems ... |
| 01.20.04 (12:59 pm) [edit] |
I initial intention with this blog wasn’t for it to become just a series of statements on my political opinions. But then, who am I kidding? I follow politics closely and have some very strong opinions – and with this being an election year, I’ll just have to say what I have to say and move on….
I’ve spent time these past few days reviewing the positions of each of the Democratic candidates for President to see if any of my opinions on these men should change. Here’s where I stand:
[b]Howard Dean[/b] – still my first choice. He’s not a progressive but is on the Liberal side on many social issues. He opposes the war in Iraq and Dubya’s go-it-alone attitude to foreign relations. I want to see what happens in New Hampshire and South Carolina.
[b]Wesley Clark[/b] – the more I learn of him, the more I support him. He could replace Dean as my first pick. He opposes the war in Iraq. He’s definitely got my attention with his proposed tax changes for the middle class and the wealthy. He supports Civil Unions for same sex couples and he supports finally removing the barriers to gays and lesbians serving openly in the military.
[b]John Kerry [/b]– He has a strong record as a peacenik but his attitudes towards Iraq are too conciliatory – he needs to take a stronger stand for peace. He abstained on the vote on the hateful Medicaid bill when he should have opposed it. His positions on GLBT and Immigration issues are very promising.
[b]Dennis Kucinich[/b] – He most closely matches my political ideology, but he doesn’t stand a chance in getting the nomination. I hope he stays in the campaign as long as possible to keep bringing progressive issues to the table.
[b]John Edwards[/b] – He’s not as conservative as Lieberman, but far too conservative to be a sharp contrast to Bush.
[b]Al Sharpton [/b]– I think his reputation as an activist is too much for most Americans. As with Kucinich, I don’t think he stands a chance but I want to see him in the campaign as long as possible.
[b]Joe Lieberman [/b]– If he got the nomination, I don’t think I could vote for him even to get Bush out of office. The Democrats will lose if he was nominated – why vote for Republican Lite when you can have the real thing?
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| Express yourself? |
| 01.20.04 (9:58 am) [edit] |
On my way home from work yesterday, I was behind a bubba-sized Pick-up truck with three bumper stickers on it:
“America, Love it or Leave it.”
“Freedom and Justice for all.”
“Liberals move to Germany or France.”
Now, I know that a lot of conservatives and other ditto-head types feel strongly about the first and the third statements, but I was thrown by the second one. How can you advocate freedom while telling others to either agree with everything or get out?
In my opinion, many people across the entire spectrum are not burdened by a political philosophy that has a foundation more complex than ‘Shut up and do it my way.’ I try to live up to a philosophy based on the beliefs that all people should be treated equally under the law and that each person should be free to live their lives as they see fit so long as their actions do not harm anyone else.
Of course, those are broad statements but they are the foundation that I try to live my life by. Sometimes I find myself in a quandary where my personal philosophy heads in more than one direction. For example, take the drug scandal surrounding Rush Limbaugh. I think that individual drug use is a private issue that should be treated like alcohol use instead of a criminal issue. I am always happy to see anyone morally superior to mere mortals get their come-uppance, so I laughed and clapped at the news. After my period of glee, I had to take the stance that no matter what my personal opinion is of him, I need to support his right to treat his addiction privately. Now the other side of my belief in equal treatment also states that if the law says that his drug use is a criminal act, then he should be treated just like a criminal. So, the contradiction has to be distilled into ‘if every else is treated like a criminal, then so should he. If he is treated like a victim, then so should everyone else.’
So back to the Bubba truck. I can’t reconcile it very well other than to say that if I want to retain my freedom of expression, then I need to allow him his (that part I can support) but if he wants to take mine away, then he doesn’t deserve it either (which I just can’t support since that means no one gets an opinion at all)
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| just a few thoughts... |
| 01.19.04 (11:59 am) [edit] |
Today I’m wearing a pair of jeans from my Wait-until-they-fit-again stash. I feel pretty, lithe and svelte. J I’ve lost 10 lbs since Thanksgiving – most of that’s without really trying too hard – just watching what ingredients to into the dinners I make and making sure that the walks the puppy and I take are at least 30 minutes each evening.
According to Pollingreport.com, Dubya’s approval rating has dropped back to 50%. That’s based on the CBS/New York Times Poll from Jan 12-15. That’s down from 60% from Dec. 21-22. I think the bounce he got after the capture of Saddam Hussein is disappearing. Now I’ll have to see what happens after the State of the Union address.
How about the pro Direct Election protests in Iraq today? 100,000 people. I suppose that from Dubya’s perspective that’s just another ‘focus group’ just like the millions that protested before the war. If direct elections are allowed, how will the US be able to pull out before the November elections? Worse, what if the people want a government that the US can’t dictate policy to?
I want out with Gilbert’s friends again this weekend. Talking to one, Connie, I was told that everyone is really liking me and including me because of who I am and my personality and not because I’m Gilbert’s partner. I love that. They’re a great group of people and I would hate to find out that I was the friend in the group that they have to be nice to ……
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| What Have I Done to Deserve This? |
| 01.16.04 (10:51 pm) [edit] |
“Hi. My name is Geoffrey and I am a homeowner.”
“... Hi, Geoffrey.”
It’s time for a little Homeowner’s Anonymous. So brew an industrial sized pot of coffee, pull up a folding chair and let’s get started … I bought my house in August 2002 so it’s not like it’s a new revelation to anyone in my life. However, I don’t think that deep down inside I really believed it was mine.
There’s a part of me that knows I’ll wake up one morning in an apartment with a microscopic kitchen and walls thin enough they might as well be transparent for all the privacy they provide. You know the schtick. Someone like me probably shouldn't be anywhere else ...
I spent years believing that there was something inherently wrong with me. I just wasn’t the type of person that deserved things like a good job or a nice home or a loving relationship for that matter. I was just one of those people that was unworthy. I also knew that I had to hide this from other people – I had to be funny and charming so that maybe others would like me. If they knew who I really was, then they couldn’t possibly like me. I thought like this for years.
It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I had the stunning revelation that there is nothing wrong with me – that I’m perfectly human just like everyone else. In a relatively short time, I discovered that not only am I actually a funny, charming guy with some insecurities (as opposed to a big failure with a funny, charming veneer) but that I don’t have to hate my job or make everyone like me no matter what or any of the stuff that the little voice in my head was screaming in my ears every waking moment.
So back to the house thing.
Houses are for successful people. Houses are for stable people. Houses are for grownups … Blah, blah, blah … I was surprised when I realized that I never noticed my Inner Loser was still telling me all the same things I had already heard for years. It was still alive and well only whispering now, not screaming. I thought I had trained myself not to listen to those annoying tales of woe.
Guess I learn something new all the time. And this time it’s that I never really changed. I just became better able to live with what’s there. Living with my Inner Loser is just a part of being a human cuz it will always be there ….
I am a homeowner and I like it. There. I said it.
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| I miss my Mommy |
| 01.15.04 (10:20 pm) [edit] |
This Memorial Day will be the ten-year anniversary of my mother's death. She was 52 when she died - it was her second battle with cancer.
When I was a child, she was just my Mom. As a young adult, she was also my friend. We would talk for hours each week over the phone. She still lived in Michigan and I was in Texas, but we stayed in regular contact. At Christmas time she would come to visit for a few weeks and we just always had a wonderful time. She was always open and frank with me – I always knew where she stood.
I came out to her when I was 19. She told me that wished I wasn’t gay because life is so much harder for a gay person and she didn’t want me to have to go through all that. I can’t think of a response she could have made that would have been better.
In 1988 she met Gilbert for the first time. We had only been a couple for about 6 months and I was just really realizing that I had fallen in love. She adored him from the beginning. Christmas night he got really ill and she sent me out to find some drugs and such so she could mommy him back to health – that really told me a lot. Before she left to go back home she told me that he was a keeper and that I chose well.
Gilbert and I split up in early 1994. Almost immediately I knew it was a mistake but I was being too macho/hurt to try and make up. Mom died 3 months later. While I was home for the funeral, I called Gilbert numerous times a day. As soon as I got home (it was about 2:00am) I woke him up, apologized and asked if we could try it all again.
Since then, whenever we have a fight and I’m busy hating him, I always remember how he stood by me and was my foundation when I reeling from her death. He was and still is a source of strength for me.
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| A Political thought |
| 01.15.04 (8:55 pm) [edit] |
I am one of the many progressives supporting Howard Dean for the Democratic nomination. As far as political proximity goes, I would prefer to see Dennis Kucinich win the nomination as he is much closer in ideology to me. However, I don’t believe that he could possibly win the nomination. I do support him financially as well as Mr. Dean because I think he, as well as Rev. Sharpton and Ambassador Moseley-Braun bring a much needed voice to the Party and I’d like to see him stay in there as long as possible.
If Mr. Dean does get the nomination, I was thinking he would serve himself well by selecting a Mid-western white woman as a running mate.
OK, so maybe I’m being cynical, but I don’t believe that a woman of color would bring in more votes as a woman than she would lose by being an American of non-European decent. A white woman, however, could potentially bring in a large segment of the female population and most people who wouldn’t vote for a woman probably wouldn’t vote for a Democrat either. ([b]More[/b] stereotyping?! – he must be a bad, bad Liberal. Let’s protest him.)
Regarding the Mid-Western part, I don’t think that a Democrat stands a snowball’s chance of taking the South with the exception of Florida. The Midwest, however, is another story. If Mr. Dean can take the Great Lake states as well as New England, the Great Plains and the Pacific Coast, they would have 334 Electoral votes which means no more Neo-cons running the show.
Now, living in where I do, I don’t think that my vote will go far in turning the Great State of Texas away from Dubya, I’ll still probably vote for the Democrat. After the 2002 elections, I decided that I would never again vote for a Democrat simply because they’re not a Republican. Now, after another year of lies, wars and corporate giveaways, I think that voting for the Democrat simply because they’re not a Neo-Conservative is good enough for me.
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| Fantasy Island |
| 01.14.04 (11:54 am) [edit] |
[b]Thought #1: [/b]So the doctor doesn’t know exactly what’s wrong with my hand, but x-rays didn’t show any bone fragments or anything horrible like that…. To see if we can fix it before going to a specialist, I have some drugs for osteoarthritis that have me feeling pretty good. They’re not enough to make me completely high, but just enough to make the edges of the world fuzzy and my cheeks numb.
[b]Thought #2: [/b]One of the comments made on the first entry is a suggestion to share my fantasies with my boyfriend.
That got me thinking (in a fuzzy, uninhibited sort of way) that my fantasies have changed immensely over the years. In my early 20’s, my fantasies mostly revolved around sexual activity that occurs in a private place. In my later 20’s and early 30’s they became about public or semi-public sex – usually with a stranger. For the past few years now, my fantasies also include things like domination. That got me wondering what I’ll be fantasizing in my later 40’s …. Am I going to become a middle aged leather queen? (ucky!)
If I did share these fantasies with Gilbert, would they be as much fun to do as they are to think about? I wonder about that. If Gilbert and I acted out a fantasy of mine, what if I started giggling in the middle of it? What if I know him too well to take some sort of 'scene' seriously. I know that it would do nothing for his ego and it would kill a great fantasy of mine.
On the other hand, if I share and it was enjoyable for both of us then it would be a fun new thing in our lives. After 15 years together, something new and fun is always welcome.
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| Geoffrey's boo-boo wrist |
| 01.13.04 (12:44 pm) [edit] |
The other two entries I actually posted on a different blog site but have since decided that I hated the site. So now I’m here.
I hurt my wrist again. I injured it a few months ago by falling and doing a less than graceful save that felt like my whole wrist was stretched out. It was sore for a couple weeks but went away. Out of the blue yesterday it started aching again. Now I’m spending the day being re-reminded about just how often I use my hands to do things. (ok, so I’m feeling a little whiny about it …. Just make a few sympathetic noises and all will be well.)
I’m going to see my doctor about it this afternoon and hopefully he’ll just tell me I’m a hypochondriac with a low threshold for pain instead of something like “We may want to consider exploratory surgery”
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| Rules of the Game |
| 01.13.04 (10:23 am) [edit] |
On the wall in front of my desk is a sign I first put up years ago and have moved around office to office ever since. It says:
[b]Geoffrey's Rules of the Game [/b]
1. Flirt often
2. Laugh out loud
3. Make new friends
4. Be spontaneous
5. Go outside and play
6. Read a book
7. Play fair
8. Take long weekends
9. Maintain your weight
10. If you don't like the rules, change them
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| Welcome to Geoffrey |
| 01.13.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
Great. Life in the 21st Century in Dallas, Texas. It's a new year and I'm feeling like it's also time to do something different with my life. I'm a 37 yo transplanted midwestern boy living in a state and a city that is far too Conservative and Christian for my tastes - but I love Dallas anyway. I've been here for 19 years and have found a nice comfortable niche for myself.
Over the holidays, I figured out that I was well on my way to becoming a boring little homebody inside my comfortable niche ..... I really prefer being the fun, wild, funny guy that people look forward to hanging out with. So that's what this is about - my life and my movement away from my books and computer games and back into the world. Still gonna play alot ... just with other people and not as much with myself. :)
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All About Geoffrey Snyder
I am a 40yo guy living in Dallas, Texas with my partner of 18 years, Gilbert, and our puppy, Rex. I'm both a fun loving, happy guy in my everyday life and a loud mouthed Progressive.
I love to travel and meet people. My goal in life is to go everywhere and meet everyone.
So, pull up a chair, make yourself at home, enjoy my mental wanderings and feel free to drop me a line to tell me what you think...
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