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| The Faux Little Dutch Boy |
| 02.20.04 (1:45 pm) [edit] |
Even though I’ve been whining about this upcoming business trip to Holland, it appears to be working out into something potentially fun (except for the going to work part).
First I’m celebrating my birthday early with family and friends this Saturday. Then I arrive on the final day of Carnival in Breda, NL on Tuesday. Friday afternoon I’m heading to Amsterdam for the weekend which means I can celebrate my birthday in style. Afterwards it’s back to Breda for two weeks, but that weekend is wide open for either wandering around Holland or Belgium or just hanging out in the city. It looks like the city supports a nice sized gay population so there are various pubs and restaurants to try out ….. We’ll just see how it goes.
I’m still going to miss Gilbert and the puppy and kitty, but it looks like I’ll at least have some adventure. The last two weeks I’ll also have a co-worker/friend there so I won’t get too bored by not having someone to talk to when I’m drinking.
So, my hoard of adoring fan should check out this site for updates on my wild life while I’m gone.
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| I was Wrong about Gay Marriage ... |
| 02.18.04 (12:38 pm) [edit] |
It’s sometimes hard to admit when you’re wrong. Yesterday I discovered I was wrong about the entire topic of gay marriage. For years I’ve said that I want to be able to get married for the legal benefits – the symbolic joining of two people into a single family isn’t as necessary as we already have family and friends that recognize us as a family regardless of what the law says.
Well, I was wrong. On my way home from work I was listening to NPR. They interviewed a man that married his partner in San Francisco over the weekend. He said that after they married he suddenly realized that this was the same thing his parents had – and his new in-laws had. His statement moved me. It made me cry. Part of me was crying because I was so happy for him. It seems unreal that an American gay couple can marry in the United States.
The other part of me that was crying took a little longer to realize. I was crying because I was jealous. I want what he has. I want what the majority of my co-workers and heterosexual friends have. I want the opportunity to be a family - legally, spiritually and emotionally. I want it even knowing there is a chance that, once created, it would fail. To hell with pretending I only want the legal benefits – I want it all.
I want to be a married man.
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| Deep in the Gay Heart of Texas |
| 02.16.04 (10:28 pm) [edit] |
Who would have thought that last year’s Supreme Court decision striking down Texas’ sodomy law would just be the opening scene in a new gay revolution?
Are the Naughts going to do the same thing for sexual minorities that the Sixties did for racial minorities? One can only hope. Every time legal equality is expanded to include another group, our nation has become stronger. I wonder what new strengths we will find when homosexuals are finally granted the same rights as everyone else …
For too many years we have been relegated to the sidelines – ignored or told to be patient by our supporters. Well, we’re tired of waiting and we refuse to go away and be ignored yet again.
I have to admit that I was floored when the City of San Francisco decided to just start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. I for one am thrilled. It’s always easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission. So now there are married gay couples living in the United States. Society hasn’t fallen apart yet.
Personally, I’m not a big fan of the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage. I’ve seen too many failed heterosexual marriages to have any illusions that it is anything than what it is. There is too strong a push toward marriage in our society. Too many people get married just as soon as they can without looking at whether or not the person they are marrying is actually the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.
That said, when same-sex marriage is legalized in Texas, I intend to propose to Gilbert. Our relationship has worked for over 15 years. We already have public affirmation before our peers. We have a deep rooted, trusting relationship. What we are missing are the legal benefits that straight people take for granted.
I support the idea of a Civil Union but only if civil unions are the only type of legal bond allowed to all couples. If gay people can only have a civil union, then why do straight people deserve something with more legal benefit? If straight people can be married with all the benefits and responsibilities that entails, then gay people deserve the same.
I refuse to accept anything else.
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| A Travelin' Man |
| 02.14.04 (5:20 pm) [edit] |
When I took my current job with Ericsson, one of the main reasons I took it was it offered a lot of travel all over the world. I love going to new places. Since 1997 I’ve been on four continents and done some pretty cool things. When the bottom of the telecom market fell out in 2000 and I was still going all over the place.
September 2001 travel stopped for alittle over a year. At that point I was happy for a rest. The rest lasted for about a year and a half and I was REALLY ready to travel again when it started back up again. (OK, so I also am happy when the summer heat breaks until it gets cold in winter and I want it back again – so sue me). J
Last Friday I found out that I was to go to Stockholm sometime over the next few weeks. Cool. I hadn’t been in a few months and I really enjoy going there. It’s a great city and I have some really good friends that live there.
On Monday I learned that I was supposed to be there for 3 weeks. My birthday fell right in the middle of the trip so I was a little bummed about that. I think everyone needs one day a year to celebrate themselves.
Wednesday I decided to write my friends and set up a traditional Swedish birthday celebration. Cool. I figured that just because I wasn’t home that didn’t mean I didn’t have to miss out on celebrating myself.
Thursday I found out that one of my Swedish friends wouldn’t be able to attend because he was having surgery to remove a cancerous growth. Now I’m bummed again. A friend is ill but at least I get to visit him and see that he’s OK.
Then, on Friday I learned that the trip has been moved and I have to go to Holland instead. Now this is cool since I haven’t been there in about 3 years and our company’s office is only about an hour form Amsterdam. (It’s Holland. Nothing is much more than an hour from Amsterdam.) My boss even told me to book hotels in Amsterdam for the weekends instead of staying out in the sticks.
Cool. I’m going to Amsterdam. AND the conference starts two days later so I can travel on company time instead of using up my weekend flying. But, I’m still bummed. I would like to have gone to Stockholm now that I know I have a sick friend. I still want to make sure he recovers well – lend my moral support and all that.
So I’m going on a great trip to a place I enjoy on someone else’s nickel and I’m still sad that it didn’t work out according to my preferences. I know I’m being pretty stupid and whining about something that’s going to be fabulous, but there you are ….
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| Winter in Dallas, Texas |
| 02.14.04 (12:52 pm) [edit] |
Today is the day for Dallas’ annual snowy tribute to winter. Yesterday’s weather report gave a chance of snow all day, but it passed us by. I woke up this morning to the sound of the battery backups on our PCs – the power was out. Last night’s mist and light rain had frozen then got covered by a layer of moist heavy snow.
There’s about 2-3 inches accumulation in my yard. I guess the past 2 weeks of temps hovering in the 30’s has cooled off the ground just enough to allow some of the snow to stick, albeit temporarily I’m sure. The forcast for today is more snow with 6-8 inches in some areas. I think the last time we had that much accumulation was in early 1988.
All I can say is hurray for gas appliances. The furnace was off since it’s electric powered even if it’s gas heating but we still had a stove capable of making breakfast and a French press to make our morning coffee. I still get to feel human so life is good.
Took Rex for a walk. I love walking while it’s snowing. I moved away from Michigan to get away from months and months (not to mention feet and feet) of snow, but I’ve always liked the first few snowfalls of the year when it’s still crisp and clean. Walking in an urban subdivision isn’t quite the same as walking in a rural forest, but it was still a lot of fun.
Every time I hit a slippery patch I balanced on one foot and let Rex pull me a few feet before he would turn and give me his I’m-not-a-sled-dog-you-fr eak look. But, I play his games often enough that the can play mine for once.
It’s a bit of a shame that it happened on the weekend as we only get a chance of snow days off work (it is Dallas after all, so we HAVE to shut down). Guess I get to wait until next year to enjoy a free vacation day. Eh, bien. C’est la vie
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| How Dare They!! |
| 02.11.04 (8:39 pm) [edit] |
Ever since the ratification of the US Constitution in 1787, amendments have been used to expand civil liberties and expand the meaning of Equality. (except for the unfortunate business with Prohibition – and look how well that worked.) Now, social conservatives are trying to use the Amendment process to restrict civil liberty and perpetuate the existence of American gays as second-class citizens.
The Federal Marriage Amendment is vile. Whether or not you are gay and whether or not you think that gay marriage is a good idea, I think that most Americans should be outraged that this proposed Amendment is designed solely to prevent some Americans from enjoying the same benefits that other Americans enjoy.
The idea that Marriage as a sacred institution that is somehow being assaulted is absurd. First of all, marriages in the US are often only temporary unions – even many of the social conservatives that say it is sacred are divorced. How can something that only lasts a few years be sacred? Should people that marry then get divorced be punished for blasphemy? What about two lovesick college kids that run off to Vegas one weekend and get a drive-thru wedding – is that sacred?
Likewise, I’ve heard it said that the purpose of marriage is to create children and gay people can’t produce children. In order for that argument to be true, then childless married couples cannot be considered married and should not have access to the benefits of a marriage. Similarly, post-menopausal women and men who’ve had vasectomies should not be allowed to get married either.
As far as the religious definition of marriage, each church should be free to define it as they will. The government has no business imposing a particular religious definition on a marriage. From the government’s perspective a marriage should only be seen as a contract between two individual adults with a list of benefits and responsibilities.
Just because someone thinks that what my partner and I do in our bed is icky, does not mean that they have the right to say that our 15-year relationship does not deserve the exact same rights and responsibilities as a relationship that happens to be between people of differing genders.
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| Where have all the Democrats gone? |
| 02.10.04 (12:21 pm) [edit] |
After the 2000 and 2002 elections, many Progressives questioned whether or not to continue to support the Democratic Party. For myself, the Party was no longer interested in what it’s traditional rank and file thought – they were only interested in attracting more corporate dollars and attracting the moderate independent voters. So, they ended up sounding more like Republican Lites than a party that had it’s own ideas and agendas. In 2002 I decided that I was never again going to vote Democrat just as a vote against a Republican.
Then Howard Dean came along and really energized the Left by saying the unpopular things that the rest of the Democrats were too timid to say. For many of us, we decided that getting the Bush Administration out was the most important thing in the 2004 election – so we came back to the Democratic Party. Once the other candidates saw that Dean’s message resonated in the real world, they began to echo the same sentiments. Now, Dean’s been sidelined and Kerry appears to be the new favorite.
Kerry’s past shows that he has the guts to stand up and say what needs to be said. However, he and the Party are once again taking a more moderate approach. While the Democrats may well keep minorities and labor and the Left through this campaign, in the long term they will find themselves right back where they started if they continue to be a softer version of the Republicans. If the traditional base continues to be disillusioned by the Party and continues to either not bother voting or voting for other parties, the Democrats with continue to fade into background.
As a group they need to take a firm stand against the Administration’s excesses. They need to be an Opposition Party and stop with the “We believe in that too” whining.
On a side note, one of my brothers who is far more conservative than me just told me that he will not be voting for Bush this election. His reasoning is: “This whole Iraqi war thing and the way the intelligence (or lack there of) was handled has really soured me on continuing to support him. He has launched our country into potentially the biggest conflict with the middle east that has ever occurred in the history of mankind. Scary stuff when you take into consideration how radical some of the middle eastern groups can and do react.”
This from a man that was very angry with me for opposing the war this time last year.
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| But Award Shows Aren't Supposed to be Fun ... |
| 02.09.04 (8:10 am) [edit] |
Had a Grammy Party last night.
The gathering itself was a lot of fun. 6 friends came over for the event – enough to call it a party, not enough to go crazy. At first it was fun talking about everyone’s outfits and how stiff so many presenters were ….. but that can only be fun for so long.
Soon it was apparent that we were having a much better time ignoring the Grammys than actually wasting time watching it.
Whata yawn. It was like the network was so afraid that someone was going to show their breasts or genitals or maybe make a risqué comment that they sucked all the fun out of it. Poor CBS. They wanna be hip and cool (hence the Super Bowl extravaganza a la MTV) but they also don’t want to offend their conservative Aunt Melba in Pig’s Bottom, Tennessee.
Maybe they just need to give up and just say that they’re perfectly happy being in step with the out of step crowd. …
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| A little Public Display of Affection |
| 02.06.04 (7:32 am) [edit] |
I’m feeling warm and cuddly and mushy today, so here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. This is for Gilbert. It’s been a long time since this song came out in 1984. I was just a little baby of 18 – but this is the role I knew I wanted a partner to fulfill.
Four years later, Gilbert came along, love snuck up on my and now I have what I always wanted ...
I’ve modified the pronouns to protect the innocent.
[b]Somebody[/b]
Martin L. Gore, 1984
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He will hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
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| Memories of Champagne |
| 02.05.04 (1:43 pm) [edit] |
Last night I watch “My Beautiful Laundrette” which Tivo caught for us. I first saw the movie in 1985 when it was first released. At the time I was 19 and gay cinema was pretty young. It’s the story of a British Punk (Daniel Day Lewis) and a British Pakistani (I don’t know the actor’s name) and their developing romance ….. When I first saw the movie I loved every second of it – it was one of the first gay independent films I saw. I thought it was the greatest. There’s a scene where DDL takes a swig of champagne and feeds it to his lover - I was so turned on by that.
Seeing it for my second time 19 years later, it’s an ok movie. As far as Indie movies go it’s just average. As for the champagne scene – it was a lot of nothing and not really all that sexy.
19 years after the fact I have a much better background in independent film and gay cinema. I also am no longer in the middle of my sexual peak. I’m not really surprised that I reacted completely different to the movie, but I am disappointed. A pretty erotic memory from my past is gone. I’ve thought of that scene off and on over the years and I embellished it each time. In my old memory it is a much longer, much more intense scene...
... and I like my version of it better, thank you very much.
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| Janet's boobs |
| 02.04.04 (9:42 am) [edit] |
Can I ask a question or two about Janet Jackson’s right breast?
First, why are we still talking about it? It’s not like there’s nothing else going on in the world that may require out attention. (that said, it’s my turn to talk about it.)
Secondly, why are so many people up in arms over seeing it as part of an overly glitzy extravaganza (which I will admit that I did not watch)? It’s probably a case of oh-my-god-our–children-ha ve-been-exposed-to-nudity . As a group, we Americans are much too sensitive about this sort of thing. Maybe an older child will get titillated by seeing an exposed breast – but, so what? Most pubescent children get titillated by everything from seeing a breast under clothing to seeing a stop sign. Besides, what proof is there that seeing a breast (or for that matter, genitals) is damaging to a child?
Many of the people outraged by this indecent display also get upset seeing how many Moslem women are forced to cover themselves from head to toe. So, in our society, exposed breasts and/or genitalia are bad. In other societies exposing anything is bad. It’s bad to allow a woman wear too little – but it’s also bad to make a woman wear too much. (and let’s not even get started on exposed male breasts being ok or exposed male genitalia being even worse than female genitalia.) Can we really justify a position that the proper amount of clothing conforms to our current standard?
I know that the exposure was a planned event and designed to shock – but, again, so what? If she wants to show off her breasts (and they are attractive) then she should have every right to do so. Is she being exploited? For the amount of money and the publicity she’s getting, I’d say not... Maybe Janet Jackson’s body is the same as 52% of the population’s and as such is no big deal.
Personally, I think it’s much more obscene to see all the violence in our everyday life than to see random amounts of flesh.
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| Free Range Dogs |
| 02.02.04 (8:43 pm) [edit] |
I took Rex on our walk this evening like usual. I was listening to my mp3 player and he was peeing on everything in sight. We were about 15 minutes into the walk when Rex started getting excited ‘cuz two dogs were trotting up the street toward us.
I stopped and reined in Rex while they got closer. I don’t know what kind of dogs they were, but they had a smashed in bulldog face just taller and thinner. The dogs came closer and started barking at us. At first I wasn’t nervous or anything – they had collars on and weren’t being aggressive.
They started circling, so I started backing up, pulling Rex with me. We backed up about a house or two to the corner when they got distracted by a yummy smelling lawn. OK, funs over … Rex and headed off in a different direction. We got maybe 4 houses away when they came after us again – this time barking louder and more aggressively.
I kept walking away – backwards now so I can keep an eye on them. I tried to shoo them off by yelling at them, but that had no effect at all … they just kept barking and circling. By now I was getting really scared, as they were getting more and more aggressive.
I was had my phone out and was trying to get to the next intersection so I could get street names and try and call 911. They were coming up closer then backing off a little less far. By now I was yelling at them, Rex was barking his head off back and I was pretty damn scared.
A truck pulled up and a guy yelled out a name – they both started to run away at his voice. I was scared but also pissed off, so I yelled at him to get his fucking dogs before I call 911. He just looked at me and drove off after them.
I headed straight home.
I’ve seen 3 or 4 dogs running loose in the neighborhood during out walks. Sometimes with their owners just hanging out watching them – sometimes not. Next loose dog is getting the city called on them. It’s not the puppy’s fault that their owners don’t keep them under control but maybe paying to get their dog out of the pound will remind them to keep a better eye on their pets.
I need to learn more street names around here. I know the neighborhood layout but only the major street names.
Irresponsible pet owners piss me off. Maybe these dogs just got out of their backyard, and that happens, but they didn’t even have tags on.
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All About Geoffrey Snyder
I am a 40yo guy living in Dallas, Texas with my partner of 18 years, Gilbert, and our puppy, Rex. I'm both a fun loving, happy guy in my everyday life and a loud mouthed Progressive.
I love to travel and meet people. My goal in life is to go everywhere and meet everyone.
So, pull up a chair, make yourself at home, enjoy my mental wanderings and feel free to drop me a line to tell me what you think...
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